“What the F” Friday: What the F Do I Even Do? Part I

Every time people ask me about my business, it’s usually accompanied by a “So what do you do exactly?”

Answer: Everything.

For those of you who don’t know to the full extent of what I do, I’ll probably write a couple posts here and there about it because there’s way too much information to fit into one blog post. So this is literally where we start…

Last year, before going into the winter/spring semester of my third year in university, I decided the following three things:

“FUCK LAW, FUCK SCHOOL. I LOVE WEDDINGS!”

I switched my major to entrepreneurship and switched all my courses for that semester from all those law courses, to entrepreneurial “sciences” and marketing. In the meantime, I decided to make a couple extra bucks designing pretty things and selling them over the Etsy platform. At first it started off with an order every week, which turned into an order every other day, which later turned into more orders than I could manage while still going to school and I slowly phased out of going to certain classes just to finish these orders and have them shipped by their deadlines.

During this semester, I had a crazy, eccentric, yet amazing professor – Neil Wolff – go ahead, google him, he’s honestly one of my top three favourite psychotically wonderful profs at Ted Rogers. Anyway, he taught one of my entrepreneurship classes in a very weird and unconventional way of teaching it, but it was one of the few classes I bothered to wake up at 5 am for. Anyway, I told him about my dilemma with my little money making venture and how it affected my time for school. He gave me the best advice:

“You know what, it took me seven years just to get my stupid bachelor’s degree because I kept dropping out to work on business ventures. What are you in this class for? To be an entrepreneur, I’m assuming. Basically what you’re asking me is whether you should continue building your business versus continuing to learn about continuing to build your business? Do you see how stupid that sounds? You’re one step ahead of what we’re even trying to teach you, and you’re what? Like 12? If you really want your degree, you can get your degree. But if you’re in this program to start a business “one day” and that “one day” is today, then you know what you have to do. Get the tools you need to succeed and when you have those, forget the degree for now, you can get that later. What you need are the stepping stones and if you’ve gotten this far then you just need to secure them and don’t forget to tend to the maintenance on the structure you build. Our education system has a lot of flaws in it, but consider this for what it is: everything you learn here at school are just a bunch of informational tools THAT YOU PAY FOR to help you succeed in life. When you get to those points in life where you need to take out those tools and use them to make your money back, go and get it. Fuck this degree shit, the only reason why I’m working for my Ph.D is because they’d fire me if I didn’t.”

I ended up getting a 4.0 GP (A+) in his class. Juuuuust sayiiing.

By that point, Chelsea and I decided that we would partner up and start our own event planning company. At first it wasn’t something we were serious about doing for at least another five years, but then I figured, we could start off doing smaller projects now to generate the funds that we’ll need (when we’re ready) to start the actual event planning part of the event planning company – and that’s what we’re doing now; building our company with smaller projects here and there so that we can generate the funds for our capital expenses.

Since both of us were still in school, we lived a little over an hour away from each other, which meant that business meetings were generally spread out over evenings on skype and the once a month that Chelsea could spare coming back to Brampton. We sort of just ran with it from there and decided to go ahead and register our company name and apply for GST/HST. All the while, still conflicted about what the heck I wanted to graduate with and I guess this summer really did it for me because I decided to transfer to college where I’ll be attending next year.

So what the F do I do? I run a company, what does it look like I do?

For the time being we design and make event stationery, design and arrange event florals, and design and set up event décor. For whatever reason, we somehow got into the business of painting porcelain and ceramic tableware and etching glass, which later turned into planting succulents with terrarium environments in drainless glass and ceramics. So I literally take on any projects now.. which includes wood burning, sign making, calligraphy, labeling weird and magical things, custom clothing appliques and custom wall decals - honestly, do not ask me how this happened, it just did. 

I also do my own taxes like a boss... because I am one. Speaking of which, taxes this year...... that is another blog post to be had, jayzus murphy.

It hasn’t even been a full year yet and our company has turned into something we had no intention of creating this early on in the stages of development, but it’s pretty much our love child so we're continuing to nourish it and let it grow. We are both so proud of this thing that we created and despite the fact that the little administrative work here and there is a bit of a pain in the ass, we know it’s already on it’s way to being everything we dreamed of and more.

Anyway, between my posts of motherhood and raging angst against societal corruption, I’ll be posting more about our business adventures, what we do, how we do it, and maybe even give you a little taste of our field work and the workings of Chelsea’s fake wedding.

Throwback Thursday: The Homemade Valentine’s Day Card

I was 12 years old when I met her; it was the end of grade 6 and she came during the last month of the school year. I remember we ended up celebrating her birthday in class on June 15th because we missed her birthday in January. 

I believe we were in grade 8 when I bullied her, for God knows what reason. Somehow though, she ended up being one of the more loyal friends that I had growing up. 

In the first semester of our first year in high school, she didn't hesitate to talk to me in the library or during English or Religion class. By the second semester, she was the one who called me over to sit with her in French class. So despite the elementary school bullying, you could say we both looked past that weird phase in my life. She introduced me to a few people that I later considered to be my best friends in high school, and at the end of the day, she was and would always be there for me when I needed her.

We weren’t best friends, but we were close enough. She was someone that I considered a “true” friend because after ten years from the day we first met, it never really mattered how often we talked, I knew I could tell her anything without being judged and I could always count on her advice and opinions as being the most considerate and altruistically offered.   

Nowadays, we rarely talk, but when we do keep in touch, our friendship’s just picked up from where it left off last.

So where exactly am I going with this?

Well, this blog post is titled the Homemade Valentine's Day Card for a reason...

Let's go back a few steps, shall we?

In elementary school, it’s just tradition to give out valentine’s cards to the kids in your class and that has always just been the way she goes. Once you start high school, those traditions stop and I guess it’s because we all just start feeling too cool for that stuff. Well, when I was in grade 9, I remember Valentine’s Day was just like any other day.

It was second semester and at our third period French class with Mme. Nunez, she showed up with a couple of little handmade Valentine’s Day cards. It was literally the cutest thing that anyone could have expected that day. She handed them out to her friends, including me and it was just a really sweet gesture altogether.

Before that point, I never gave too many shits about handmade crafts or anything like that (realistically, even after that point, I still didn’t give too many shits about handmade crafts), but I never forgot about that card. It was a small thing, made out of a little piece of red construction paper with a cut out heart and a ribbon thingy on it that read "Happy Valentine's Day Czar" in blue pen ink. I thought it was nice, so I put it up on my mirror and that started my collection of other paper things that I got from my friends during high school. From that point, my mirror ended up being my “Handmade by my friends” sanctuary until I had my son and dressed up my room to look a little more like a nursery and a little less like a teenager’s dungeon.

7 months pregnant at my Surprise "BBQ" Baby Shower

While I was pregnant with my son, I had a lot of time to think about how I wanted to raise him. She helped me come up with a few key things I wanted to make sure I did. During my second and last trimester of pregnancy, we were in our second semester of grade 11 and the two of us had first period Interior Design, third period lunch and fourth period Chemistry together. Sometime during this semester she helped me pick out my son's middle name and was probably one of the most tolerable people I came to appreciate during my hormonal episodes of "I hate everyone!"
I remember bringing up the whole handmade valentine's card thing to her again and she told me that it wasn't like it was anything special, but her and her mom used to do stuff like that when she was younger so it was something she enjoyed doing. Whether it turned out to be a product of impeccable artistic composition or not, it was something and she simply enjoyed making little things like that. So whether or not people like me cared, she made them anyway.

I was compelled to believe that making little cards and gifts with my son when he got older would be one of the more important activities that we did together. 

And it was. 

It ended up being a bonding activity between my son and I because even when he was only 6 months old, I still talked to him during these crafts as if he was really taking part in it. By the time he was physically capable of helping me with these little crafts, he loved it. It's really shaping the way that he is now and he loves doing little artistic crafts on his own time without my initiative to start a project.

Something really stuck with me just from that one Valentine’s Day card from way back when I was 14 years old. The concept that someone genuinely gave a damn to put an effort into making something for you... it just gives you the warm fuzzies, you know?

It didn't have to be perfect, it just had to come from the heart and that meant a lot. That made it beautiful.

Making things by hand with my son stemmed from that gesture alone and the more I worked on hand made things with my son, the better I got at it. My creativity branched off from there – as I’ve always been artistic – but this really took me into the whole world of fine paperie crafts and typography.

For anyone that’s ever received a handmade card from either my son or myself in the past (and enjoyed receiving one), I guess you know now why I bothered with a handmade card in the first place, instead of buying you one and signing it with pretty handwriting. Whether it gets tossed in the garbage or gets placed on your mantle, stuck onto your fridge or kept in a memory box, we made it for you because it's the first moments of receiving it, reading it, and just taking in the effort that was taken to make it that really sticks with you. After that point, it's just a couple pieces of paper glued together with pretty writing, but even if there's only a second of your time for it, there is at least that very second that you felt the warm fuzzy feeling just because someone made it for you.

You hear and read a lot of things that emphasize that “it’s the little things that count.” I guess it’s because the thought and effort put into simple things – the little things – are what make them that much bigger to appreciate and really enjoy.

So if it wasn't for that little handmade Valentine’s Day card that I got in high school when no one else could have bothered with Valentine’s Day at all, I may not have gained an appreciation for all those little handmade things that makes your day just a little bit better. I may not have started my business, and many of you may not have enjoyed some of the silly little things that my son and I have made for you in the past that I know many of you have come to enjoy.

Here’s to a good friend with a great heart!

Teen mom relationships

Teen mom relationships, teen relationships, adult relationships, older parent relationships: the only real difference is the maturity level of the individuals involved in said relationships - and age is not always accompanied by maturity.

When I was a teenager my relationships were very juvenile. I could say I was a little more mature than others in the way that I was often very considerate of my boyfriends' freedoms and I rarely harboured jealousies. I was also very nurturing and put a lot of effort into making things work. It wasn't because I felt they deserved being treated well - they often didn't - I did it because as a 16-19 year old, I felt it secured my position in the relationship, as most insecure teenagers do.

I didn't know I was immature at the time because I still did many things for my exes that were considerably generous, and I thought that was the mature thing to do. I realized later that I only did things if I knew it would merit a higher benefit for me in the long run - because apparently I was the queen of underlying, self-centred goals. However, you get to a point where you just grow up. The only thing is that when I grew up and developed a more mature take on relationships, the same could never be said for the men I dated. I constantly found myself dating guys that were complete babies. I know women in their forties and fifties that tell you men will never grow up, but I figured out later on that if you start off dating a baby, he will stay a baby because he can get away with it. So I started looking for guys that were considered "more mature men" by societal convention. I was in a year and a half relationship with a guy who would lie to me about being high when he came to visit my son and me. He didn't have a job so I always paid for our dates and he stopped going to school and spent his spare time on my facebook account reading my personal messages with other people... So after that ended, ANY man was "more mature" than he was in my eyes. So I started dating men that either had careers, or were in school with competitive marks and a sense of ambition that drove them to their goals. 

But that was when I realized that maturity can take many forms and while you might be mature with your career, you're no where near the maturity level you should have in order to be part of a committed relationship. The more I dated, the more I learned and that's how I found where I wanted to be and I know where I want to stay. But here's the thing about learning these things while being a young mom....

I do a lot of observation and I noticed that there's a negative stigma towards teen moms because the ones who have shaped the stereotypes for us are the teen moms that tend to get older, but they don't really grow up. They keep that teen mom mentality well into their adulthood and they end up living a life-long drama. There's always some sort of a scene to be caused over "he said, she said" bull shit which then transpires to other aspects of life including parenting and romantic relationships. That's where things start to go wrong and those stereotypes start becoming labels that hit too close to home.

After observing other people's relationships, I realized that my boyfriend's and mine is happy and healthy and considerably mature. Don't get me wrong, we're both complete goofballs, but - where it counts, we've both accepted that we have a lot to learn and we're both readily willing to grow and mature with each other. The best thing about being a couple that accepts having ups and downs is that when we have our ups, they're the uppitiest of ups and when we have our downs, they turn into the funniest of ups anyway.

When we first started dating, people had a lot to say about it. Generally, people have a lot to say about teen/young parents who are in romantic relationships with other people. And I completely understand why. Before Anthony, the only other boyfriend that I ever introduced to my son was four years ago when my son was only 6 months old. That relationship lasted until my son turned two and since then, mommy didn't have boyfriends. 

From the outside looking in, people simply didn't see that. They knew I dated A LOT of guys, but they didn't know that Matheson never met any of them, they all just assumed that I was bringing random guys around my son all the time. 

Generally speaking, it is not healthy for your kids to see you switching partners like a new pair of socks every morning. So I didn't let my son see my socks and that's all there was to it.

Teenagers without kids date whoever they want, whenever they want, and wherever they want because they can do so without influencing someone with a fragile and sensitive psyche. 

Teen parents seem to think that they're no exception to this and can go frolicking around with a different partner every Tuesday, while entirely disregarding the fact that their children are fully aware. Then they expect it not to cause any harm? Right.

It creates confusion and instability and yields long-term effects that shape a child's future. That's not even a question, it's just common sense.
Many teen parents don't (but ought to) put themselves in their kids' positions.
Think about it..
When the person you look up to the most has screwed up relationships back and forth and then proceed to flaunt it in your face during the most vulnerable and influential stages of your life, well, only if you are one of the rare anomalies to this cycle will you escape from exhibiting similar habits in your own life. So as a young, single parent, just imagine what your fucked up relationships are doing to your children. 

Accept it, your friends can go around dating whomever the fuck they want because they don't have kids, but news flash, you do have a kid and it's your responsibility to make sure your relationships are either healthy or completely unseen by your children until you know with certainty that it will benefit them.

Yeah, I get it. When you're young, you're expected to experiment with relationships until you figure out who you are and who you want to be with. But having a child at a young age changes those expectations of you. And let's face it, if you think being a parent at a young age shouldn't affect the way you conduct yourself in a relationship, then don't be surprised when your children are young adults and start conducting themselves the same way as you showed them.
By general convention, you find the one you're meant to be with and settle down with them. Then you have kids with them in the environment that you both choose to create for your children and from that point, you and your partner create a model relationship that you hope your children will follow. But a teen mom's situation is by no means part of the "general convention".
The way mommy and daddy or mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy treat each other in a loving environment will shape how children learn to treat their partners as adults. What they see in your relationships with others will shape what kind of treatment and respect they they give and accept to and from their partners. Now if mommy has boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend and little boy sees all these relationships fall apart, what example do you think is being left with little boy and how will that shape how he chooses to treat women when he's older? Exactly. He will be as flip floppy as the men who walk in and out of your life because that's all he sees, that's all he knows.

I mean from any point of view, moms and dads who have sketchy relationships with other people and introduce all their "lovers" to their kids is just bad news bears. I would date guys for over 4 months and I still wouldn't introduce them to my son because there was no certainty.
As far as my son was aware, there was only one picture that was painted in our lives - mommy and Mathey and that was it.
Eventually, when Anthony came into the picture, I made sure we were in it for all the right reasons. I made sure that it was because we love, trust and respect each other, have the willingness to grow with each other, and work with our differences like adults should. It wasn't about finding a replacement father for my son or a security blanket for myself. It was about knowing who I was and being with someone who would take part in my self-discovery and vice versa. Of course, the moment I introduced Anthony to my son as being "mommy's boyfriend", my relationship was forced into the aspect of parenting, but I was sure that I was making the right decision. The way my boyfriend treats me is exactly the way a gentleman should treat a lady and I knew that this was the example of a man that I wanted my son to have.
The way I treat my boyfriend is the way that I expect any lady to treat a man and between myself and my boyfriend, I believe that Matheson has an excellent example to follow.
It didn't just work out properly by chance, it worked out this way because I put on my adult pants and matured in a way that allowed me to shape my decision making skills so that I considered the long term effects it would have on my son, my boyfriend, and myself. 

When you're a teen mom, no one is going to tell you how to work the ropes of your love life. So you kind of have to screw up a few times before getting it right. 

Whether you're a teen mom or a teen dad or just a person who's dating a parent, make a note of this life lesson...

Parent relationships CANNOT be based solely on how much you love and respect the other person. No, it really can't. 

Not when you have a child to consider before making any and every action you take.

When you're a single mom or single dad, whether you're an adult or a teen, a relationship at this stage in your life should be about how much you love and respect yourself and your child(ren), because only when this is established will you be able to let another person into the most intimate and private aspects of your life.

I think we can all agree that it takes a very special kind of person to love and respect not only a parent, but every aspect of their situation, and their child(ren) as a whole package. Only when a person like that is found should you ever let them into your life. Because when you love and respect your self and your child(ren), you'll only have room for the type of person that can show you the love and respect that you and your child(ren) deserve. And in turn, a person like that is the only person worthy of receiving the same love and respect that you've learned to accept.It's not easy growing up... in fact, you'll never stop growing up.

I guess growing up with all the right people is what shapes the best of us, it's what makes the difference between those who fall under categorized stereotypes and those who break from it. 

Co-Parenting: Not for me, not for us

First of all, I just wanted to say hello again! I'm going to start writing regularly because it's the new year and I have sorted out the few things that made it difficult to blog.

From now on though, I will be blogging about various aspects of my life and not exclusively on parenting. My life has always been so multifaceted, and I don't think I've ever been able to capture the full essence of my life in this blog because it's only ever been about parenting. As many people would expect based on their own personal experiences, every part of my life coexists with the other, so writing about being a mom and having a little boy wouldn't be possible without including my personal relationships with people, my career successes (and-god forbid-failures), my family, my education, my hobbies and pastimes, my dreams, and other random tidbits spackled throughout the blog here and there and everywhere.

So to start my blog this year, I wanted to talk about co-parenting.

To me, co-parenting is a phenomenon. My son's father and I are not together, and we haven't been since my son was conceived. It's always just been assumed that under these conditions, we must, then, co-parent my son.

However, that's not the case. I have always been the sole provider and caregiver with the responsibility of parenting my son - with the help of my loved ones, of course - and that's been the bulk of it. 

So, what if I had to wait on someone else's opinions or choices before acting on something that would ultimately affect my son's future?

I suppose you could say that I have the luxury of not only deciding how I want my son to be raised, but also the luxury of actually raising him that exact way without being told otherwise or challenged by another decision maker in his life.

What is co-parenting? Well, by definition, it means that two people are parenting their shared child, under the conditions that the two people are neither married, in a romantic relation, nor do they cohabit.

In many cases, this is the best method of parenting for a child - given the situations of the parents' relationships with each other and with others. Sometimes it's not the best method, but it may be the only one that works. And hell, sometimes it is neither the best, nor does it work, but the judge said you have no other choice. And then you have anomalies like me. I am the single, sole parent of my son and there is no registered father or second parent to challenge my authority in raising my son. Sometimes this can be because one of the parents is deceased, sometimes one of the parents has simply "left", and in some other cases, sometimes one of the parents has been "taken away".
Now, to clarify, for those of you who met me after my son was born and know nothing of the parent situation, I am the only parent of my son and that is why my son holds my family name.

So, co-parenting...

It requires a specific and minimum level of maturity from both parties in order to work. And if it wasn't already obvious, it does require both parents to acknowledge their role as a parent.
Okay, well before I actually get into this, I just wanted to say that I have no credibility whatsoever to tell you about co-parenting. It's never worked for me. I'm the only one with guardianship over my son. The only time I've ever attempted to co-parent was an odd some 2-3 years ago and that failed miserably. It lasted about a month.

I know exactly why it failed and why it would fail again if I ever had to parent my children with someone that I couldn't trust with my life. Being a sole-parent at the age of 17 was really challenging, but it was (and still is) a blessing in disguise.

I'm not a control freak, but just imagine having to depend on someone who had a racy past and indulged in drugs, and was notorious for promiscuity and petty crime to share their input on the decisions that would ultimately define your son's life and future. I know it was a disaster to even try and it would have been full blown chaos if I was crazy enough to keep it going.

Before having a baby, you have to plan a lot of things with the other parent that require a level of consensus or agreement because to make a decision without the other parent's say would be downright blasphemous against the order and nature of all things good in this world. 

Something as little as what shampoo you should be buying could start a riot and don't even get me started on what could happen when two parents are on the debate of what kind of a diet they should be implementing for their children. It extends to the sports and extracurriculars you want your children to enroll in, and of course, what kind of shows on the telly or movies they should be allowed to watch. These things could make or break the relationship that good parenting should be built on, which is why it is imperative that two people not only get along, but agree to most things before having children. It's really hard to just settle your differences when the decisions involve your children. 

I remember before Matheson was born, there was the whole debate of circumcision. For me, there were more factors weighing in on this decision than just "what I preferred". The province in the Philippines where my parents are from consider circumcision as part of the culture and that was all I knew. As far as I was concerned, Matheson was going to be circumcised and there wasn't a question about it. But then there was a debate brought up by concerned friends and other members of the family and after doing my own personal research, I made a decision.

When I stopped breast-feeding, people always had their opinions about the formula Matheson should be drinking, or the brand of baby foods he should be eating. Should he be eating jarred baby food or should I puree his food myself? He wasn't even a year old yet, and I would be conflicted by opinions all because the brand of lotion he should be using or even keeping baby powder in the house were of subject matters linked to controversy one way or another. And the fucked up thing about society is that these items of infinitesimal importance will either make you look like a bad mother or a good one. And then of course you have situations where one parent doesn't give a damn and the other parent gives too many damns and suddenly it's a bloody war zone because baby's onesie has too low a neck line for grandma's approval. I didn't have another parent to argue with and somehow I still had to deal with the issue of whether or not he should be eating from a whole organic diet and whether he should be wearing certain colours because they didn't flatter him as well as others - courtesy of my mother. 

For me, all these things tend to work themselves out because ultimately it's my decision in the end. I either get too fed up to argue and let the naysayers win or I put my foot down and tell them that he's my son and this is the way I want it. Well, let me tell you, if my actions had to be based on the shared opinion of a person I hated, my son would have gone through far worse than he already has just putting up with his dad.

Seriously, those of you who don't have kids yet, let me just tell you that you have two realistic choices in raising a child the way you want them to be raised.
Option 1: You make babies with a person who is your soul mate in every aspect and who will not dispute or challenge your method of parenting because they share the same values and virtues and methods of living as you believe to be best.
Option 2: You have a kid by yourself where NO ONE can dispute or challenge your method of parenting because no one else has the authority to.
Any other option generally results in fighting and arguing because obviously if you can't agree then you disagree and when you disagree, you argue. Which is why co-parenting would never work for me. If I had to make a decision and "negotiate" what I believed was right for my kids just for the sake of maintaining civility with the other parent, I would lose my marbles. You have to want to agree and truly agree with the other parent. And odds are likely, if you're in a situation where you're co-parenting, it's likely that the reason why you're not married, in a romantic relationship, or cohabit is because you don't want to agree with them nor do you ever agree with them. But parents aren't made to always agree. "Soulmates" only exist that way because they're made to challenge you and you them without disrespect from the challenged or the challenger.
If you challenge their methods or vice versa, you both have to trust and respect each other enough to believe that those challenges are out of genuine concern. You have to cooperate with them as equally as you expect them to cooperate with you - and if you can't do that, well then, you're on your way to a miserable life together.

Challenge is good, and challenge inhibits development and growth. But sometimes challenge - when taken the wrong way - could leave scars and result in detrimental effects to your children. 

Before you have a child, you need to understand that everything from discipline, the books they read, the movies they watch, the time they go to bed, the food they eat for breakfast - it's all influenced by the world around that child's parents and how that world affects their parents' decisions. But conflicting decisions between parents begets arguments and disagreement and conflict. When two parents can peacefully reach an adequate resolve of those conflicts, it can (and more than likely will) promote growth and loving environments.

There are a handful of co-parenting success stories that I've heard of before, but those relationships are not for the weak (or psychotic). Both parents need to be mature and cooperative, afterall, you are setting an example for your children.

Co-parenting is not for me. If/when I decide to have more kids, it will be with the person I trust and respect the most, or it won't be with anyone at all. I mean, let's get real here, there's no one I trust and respect more than myself, so knowing that my soulmate just so happens to be exactly like me, I know that I can give them the due trust and respect I intend to share in raising my children.

Yupp, co-parenting didn't work the first time, and that's all I needed to know before deciding that I would never attempt it again. My son's life is way too important for me to go messing it up with bullshit parenting experiments and that's all there is to it. 

Manners matters

I know I've written about manners in the past, but that was about teaching manners to children.

This time, it's almost entirely different. This time, it's about the rarity of using manners as an adult.

In both my worst and best behaviours, I always show my appreciation towards acts and gestures that deserve to be acknowledged with due gratitude. I make sure that even in the worst tone of communication, I will still acknowledge the fact that the experience is something I am grateful for. Even if ties end and relations go sour, I always learn from both my mistakes and the mistakes of others before moving forward; out of respect and the sheer propriety in the fashion I was raised, I know that appreciation for ill-intended mishaps exists because of the learning experiences that the consequences of these situations have to offer. The appreciation is still due because it is a part of the events that have occurred in your life that make an impact on your future decisions and your future behaviours. Now because this is the way I grew up to respect every aspect of my life, I believe very strongly in the effect of having manners.

The thing I don't understand is that when I can look at people with whom I have existing issues, and still be grateful for their less than beneficial role in my life, I can't even get a damn coffee from the people running the drive through and hear a simple "Have a great day!"

My boyfriend and I have this issue all the time. We'll pull up to a Tim Horton's or McDonald's drive thru and get a "Can I take your order?" .... We RARELY get a "Hi welcome to *chain name*, how may I help you?"
I mean, after being immediately offended by the quick " Can I take your order?" As an instant reflex, we look back, only to see no cars behind us, we look through the window and see maybe one person in line at the front if any at all... and then we wonder why the hell it was so hard to take two extra seconds out of your day to at least say hi... It's not like you're in a rush so why do you speed through the conversation like having manners is an inefficient use of your time?

Human interaction is so limited nowadays, so I take my time to converse with every day labourers and service professionals when they're not busy. It may be bold to speak on behalf of my boyfriend, but I do believe that the times we go out together, we both enjoy speaking to cashiers, or customer service reps, or other service professionals who engage in conversation with us - so long as we're not holding up a line or causing distraction. The thing is, it's so rare nowadays to find pleasant and polite people like that, that when we do come across those people, its like finding a unicorn.
Saying please and thank you is a common courtesy and half the bloody idiots nowadays don't even have those two phrases in their vocabulary. Out of respect and genuine care, my boyfriend and I will ask people how their days are and the odd time they reply with a "not so good" or a brutally honest answer of that nature, we care enough to proceed with asking what's wrong because sometimes they just want to talk or vent. Sometimes people are just bored at work, but we never underestimate their position because I have found that the people who really want to engage in conversation with us, even if seemingly mundane at the time, are the ones who surprise us with having the most to teach us.

So going back to the issue of manners - both received from the workers in the public sector and the manners we use when we communicate with them - failure to have even the simplest of manners is a show of your effect on humanity. It says a lot about your respect for others, your respect for yourself, and whether you deserve much of any respect from others.

As I was saying about the tim Horton's; when my boyfriend buys me a coffee, after receiving the cup, he'll say thank you and wishes them a great day/evening/night. And almost 95% of the time they will throw the change into his hand and shut the drive thru window without saying a single word back, sometimes without even looking him in the eye.

People say not to judge others, but if you're not thinking ill-thoughts of these people after they exhibit such rude behaviour to you, then you must be a saint because the use of manners and respect is a huge show of one's character and I can't help but think that these people were raised in a damn barn.

It's about that time that everyone, myself included, should really take into consideration the importance of human interaction. You could be served a coffee by the next Bill Gates who happens to be working full time at a coffee shop over the summer to afford tuition. You could be serving a doctor who might one day in the future, save your sick grandfather from a life threatening illness... You never know the people you meet for the first time. You don't know who they are or who they could one day be to you. And you don't NEED to know who they are or who they will be. You may never see them again for the rest of your life, but that doesn't mean it's not important to add a bit of extra time in being polite and respectful to everyone you encounter. ESPECIALLY those who do you no harm nor foul.

Manners are important.. manners matter.

Being a Mompreneur

The craziest thing about looking at my situation now is realizing that never in a million years would I have imagined being here the moment I became a mom.

At 16, the moment your doctor confirms that you are in fact pregnant, it is immediately proceeded by the moment you genuinely believe your life is over. At least for me, anyway.

Despite so many people telling me to abort or to put my child up for adoption - I can only look back and contemplate the path I chose and thank my lucky stars that I was at least half-witted enough not to pay them any mind.

Being 22 years old, the founder of a company that was only officially registered four months ago (April 2014) and now having the opportunity I was only too hopeful to even dream of having in at least 10 years from now, it is in this moment that I look back to that day my doctor uttered the affirmations of pregnancy, and realize that if that never happened, then this wouldn't either.

I finally found the career opportunity in something I genuinely LOVE doing and I am--arguably--great at it.
I mixed my two passions together - business and artistic creativity - and turned it into something I could be proud of and something my son will be proud of me for creating. Although my son HATES the concept of me working all the time, what he doesn't understand is that this business has allowed me to work primarily from home to be with him. Sure, I have to run my ass around the GTA to suppliers and vendors and to meet up with customers and clients, but for the most part, I can be with him and play a more active role as a mom in his life.

Being a mompreneur means running a business and family separate from each other, but still connected as part of my lifestyle.

Being a mom gave me the customer service skills that my clients seem to love about working with me, and if it weren't for my caring and patient handle with the people I've had the pleasure of working with, I am certain 50% of them would have done business with someone else.

At the same time, being a single mom helped me to develop the hard ass head I have in dealing with the fair number of people who have been more of a bother to my business affairs than as assets in helping gain my company's success.

But the reward at the end of it, I mean the real reward of this business rather than the financial gain involved, is knowing that my work, my creativity, literally the wonderful ideas that come right from my head and produced into a material object of my making, are being seen, touched, and held by over thousands of people around the world. From the wedding banners in America, my escort cards and favor tags in Israel, my thank you notes in England, my table signs in Australia, my menus in Spain... the list goes on, but little pieces of somethings that I designed and made are being shared all over the world... and knowing that one day Matheson will not only understand but be proud of the fact that thousands of pieces created from the product of mommy's creativty is being spread internationally is really what I have to gain.

Thats the venture I seek.. as an entrepreneur with a business oriented mind set but as a mother with my son and my family as my number one priority - this is what being a mompreneur is... and this is what I love.

Planning Matty's Party! Pt. II

For those of you who are choosing to follow this segment of my blog - today I'm going to be sharing the party favors I decided on doing for my son's birthday party.

These particular party favors are appropriate for any age group - except infancy I suppose.. But towards the general public - yes, these are appropriate for mostly everyone.
Also, I can do these now because unlike the loot bags for the children, I don't really have to wait for the RSVPs before getting them started.

For many parents raising younger children, I think the hardest problem for throwing birthday parties is choosing the food. The allergies are the really finicky part because you want to make sure all the kids are having a good time while being completely safe. Plus that, it's no fun being liable for an allergy related incident at a party you're hosting.

So for these party favors, I decided to do packaged truffles with custom tags. The truffles are from Three Fifty Baked Goods, a nut-free and peanut-free baking business in the GTA. The flavours for the truffles include red velvet, chocolate chip cookie dough, oreo and golden oreo (the last two being my personal favourites).

So for making the favors, first you need to consider the packaging. As part of my business, we do offer food-safe packaging that comes in different sizes. In the picture shown, the plastic food-safe packages measure 2 1/5" by 6" in length and height while opening up to 1" wide.

For this specifically, I chose to use bags with significantly greater height than the truffles themselves because of the proportions of the tags being tied on them.

In the photo, you can see that the tags I made are three-piece tags, designed by yours truly.
I made the tags in the custom shape of a turtle to match my son's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle birthday party theme. The tag designs were done with black, green, and brown ink and of course, I had to put a pun on the favor message for good taste, "Thank you for shellabrating Matheson's fifth birthday!"

Now, because the owner of Three Fifty Baked Goods is a new business just starting out, much like Compass and Canvas, I thought it would be nice to help spread their name by including cute nut and peanut free labels on the back of the tags with their company logo. Beyond just being a cute gesture, I know once people try these amazing truffles, knowing that they are also nut and peanut free, they'll be flocking like seagulls to figure out where I got these from. I think the convenience speaks for itself here.



Anyway, after assembling the tags and putting a sample truffle in the food-safe plastic baggy, all I needed to do was tie on some matching green ribbon - for this I chose to use olive just to give more of a colour variety to the whole ensemble. I've specifically requested that the white chocolate icing be coloured green for the actual truffles that I have ordered to use for the favors.
So with four dozen truffle favors - packaged and tied like this, I now have beautifully-yet still somewhat childish-party favors for our guests, and it just so happens to double as a nice statement to put on the sweet table for the party.

For anyone interested in other party favor ideas or to place an order for your own set of customized favor tags for a special event you have coming up, e-mail me at czarina@compassandcanvas.com

To take a look at the baked goods offered by Three Fifty Baked Goods check out their site:
http://threefiftybakedgoods.wordpress.com
where you can find product & pricing details!